Growing up in Syria, I was taught to be kind, polite, and agreeable.
To lower my voice.
To say yes — even when I wanted to scream no.
But then life shifted.
And through school, work, activism, and migration, I began to unlearn what I was taught.
Life — and all its difficult conversations — showed me something else:
Negotiation is not conflict. It’s self-respect.
It’s not loud or rude. It’s the quiet act of choosing yourself.
The First “No” Is Always the Hardest
The first time I negotiated my pay as a trainer, my voice shook. I’d delivered results. The impact was clear.
But still, I hesitated. I had to fight that voice inside — the one that said:
“Just be grateful.”
“Don’t cause trouble.”
“They might never work with you again.”
Saying “no” didn’t feel aggressive.
It felt like I was finally protecting the girl inside me who said yes too many times when she didn’t mean it.
And that moment — small as it was — changed me.
Why Arab Women Must Reclaim Negotiation
We are raised to maintain peace — even when it costs us our power.
In families, we mediate. In communities, we compromise. In marriages, we endure.
But rarely are we taught to negotiate for ourselves.
Negotiation isn’t just for CEOs or politicians.
It’s for the teacher who wants better conditions.
The activist who’s done unpaid work for years.
The refugee girl asking for a scholarship — not as a favor, but as a right.
It’s for the woman who says, “I deserve to be at this table. Not as decoration, but as a voice.”
Negotiation in Everyday Resistance
I’ve learned that negotiation can be quiet and revolutionary.
It happens when I tell a male colleague, “That’s not my role — and here’s why.”
When I say to a funder, “I’ll join — but only if Syrian voices are centered.”
When I push back on a contract — not out of ego, but from knowing my worth.
Negotiation is activism. It’s how we dismantle what was never built for us.
And every time I say no, I make space for a better yes — not just for me, but for the women watching.
A Final Word
To every Arab woman reading this:
Negotiation isn’t arrogance. It’s alignment.
It’s not disrespect. It’s dignity.
Start small. Practice often.
Say no when it matters. Say yes when it feels right.
Because every time you speak up, you make it easier for the next woman to be heard.
You’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for what should have already been yours.
#ArabWomenRise #NegotiationPower #SayNoToSayYes #MiddleEastVoices #FeministVoice #LubnaWrites
