We’re told leadership is about decisiveness, visibility, command. But what if the most transformative kind of leadership is the one that doesn’t show up in headlines or sound bites?
What if the real power lies in the spaces between?
As a Syrian-American trainer, storyteller, and woman navigating cross-cultural spaces, I’ve learned that the loudest leader isn’t always the one who builds the most lasting change. In fact, it’s often the opposite.
The leaders I remember didn’t raise their voices. They raised people.
The Myth of Command and Control
The world often rewards a specific kind of leadership: the one with charisma, certainty, and center stage presence. But the more I work in learning, development, and peacebuilding spaces, the more I see how outdated this model is.
We don’t need more bosses. We need facilitators of belonging.
Leadership, at its best, isn’t about telling people where to go. It’s about creating the conditions where they can move forward on their own.
That’s soft power: influence without imposition.
And it’s the hardest thing to teach.
Strategic Silence and Unseen Moves
In negotiation training, I often talk about strategic silence — the ability to sit with discomfort, to allow others to speak, to not fill the space with your authority.
This is not weakness. It is intention. It is awareness.
Women, especially from the Middle East, know this instinctively. We have practiced power in whispers. We have shaped revolutions with our presence, not always our permission.
Now, in global leadership spaces, we are reclaiming that wisdom.
Soft Doesn’t Mean Passive
Soft skills are not a fallback. They’re a form of relational intelligence. Empathy, curiosity, active listening, cultural fluency — these are not optional anymore. They’re essential.
Whether I’m leading a training in Omaha or moderating a panel in Amman, the skills that move people are the ones that feel human, not hierarchical.
Soft power is:
- Knowing when to pause
- Reading the room with humility
- Inviting others into leadership
- Speaking last, not first
These skills can shift organizational culture, resolve tension, and build trust across identities. But they rarely get recognized. They don’t fit neatly on resumes. They don’t always win awards.
They just work.
A New Leadership Language
We need to rewrite how we talk about leadership. Not as domination, but as design. Not as performance, but as presence.
Let’s build tables where women don’t have to shout to be heard. Let’s stop asking, “How do I become the boss?” and start asking, “How can I empower others?”
Because the truth is, the best leaders aren’t always visible. They’re often the ones making space for everyone else to be.
That is leadership between the lines.
And that’s the kind of leader I’m becoming.
